A recent exchange with a younger colleague proved both hopeful and frustrating. He entered my room as I was explaining questioning techniques for an upcoming panel discussion my class will be hosting. I explained that adults with psychological disorders volunteered their time to discuss their journey of mental health and take questions form the class. My colleague thought this sounded wonderful as he commented (I’m paraphrasing), “It’s nice that we live at a time when mental health is being destigmatized.” I agree. Efforts are consistently being made to understand mental health and psychological disorders. I also, however felt disappointed. Shallow understanding, misleading definitions, false information, and the denial of the necessity to check on mental health are still prevalent.
Shaqtin’ the Fool
On December 12, 2023 Golden State Warriors forward Draymond Green punched opposing player Jusuf Nurkic in the head during an NBA game. Nurkic did push Green in the back, which happens routinely in a basketball game. Green’s response was not routine. Green claims he was flailing to sell a foul. While it is true that players do attempt to “sell” foul calls these attempts do not include closed fists landing upside someone’s head. Green was ejected and promptly suspended indefinitely.
This brings us to the reaction of the Inside the NBA panel, specifically that of NBA legend Shaquille O’Neal. With supreme confidence Shaq declared, “The man don’t need counseling…On the court, he don’t need nothing. Off the court, he’s a solid human being. He’s a good man…Everybody has to have a certain character on the court. My character, Ernie, is …I was mean on the court. But, off the court, I’m a different person…Listen, he does a lot of crazy things on the court that he shouldn’t, but don’t put the narrative on, ‘Oh he needs counseling.’ Nothing wrong with Draymond,…” Shaq’s co-hosts provided pushback but Shaq was unrelenting in his assessment.
O’Neal delights in dolling out nicknames; for him and other players. One of his self-ascribed monikers is “The Big Aristotle.” The smaller Aristotle, in his Nicomachean Ethics, noted, “Now each man judges well the things he knows, and of these he is a good judge. And so the man who has been educated in a subject is a good judge of that subject, and the man who has received an all-round education is a good judge in general” (https://genius.com/Aristotle-nicomachean-ethics-chap-13-annotated). Aristotle identified experience as necessary component in the education of a “judge”. This fact must be kept in mind as we look at O’Neal’s assessment of the Draymond Green situation.
As we compare the words of The Big and, I guess, The Little, Aristotle it is important to acknowledge something Shaq gets right. Shaq is an NBA legend and knows full well that he –and most players – have a “court persona.” Shaq’s comment is psychologically insightful. William James, in his book Principles of Psychology (1892) declared, “Specifics sides of a person are often displayed to one group and not another. Or, at the least, certain aspects are at least downplayed…” Shaq, like most of us, has great potential for “being mean.” He also recognized the court was the place to display this aspect of his personality and, therefore, he was “a different person” when not playing. O’Neal’s observation is grounded and bolstered by his experiential knowledge. His knowledge of counseling, however, appears to be limited and, sadly, stereotypical.
Beyond Good and Bad
“Off the court, he’s a solid human being. He’s a good man…Nothing wrong with Draymond,…” Here we see a typical misunderstanding of therapy, that something must be wrong with you if you go. This “wrongness” extends beyond behavior and becomes an assault on the quality of one’s character. “He’s a solid human being.” “He’s a good man.” No one was making a blanket assessment of Draymond Green’s core character. His humanity was not being questioned. His behavior on the basketball court was. We’ll return to that momentarily but first let’s look at this idea of having something wrong with you (the fundamental core you) if you seek therapy.
I assume if a player had a compound fracture and went to a doctor Shaq wouldn’t see this as an issue. The idea of defending the player’s standing as a “good man” wouldn’t be in play. We don’t need a hypothetical for this. Shaq’s own words are revelatory. On December 19, 2023 Shaq criticized young superstar Zion Williamson for his conditioning. Shaq contends Zion would be more dominant if he were in better shape. Charles Barkley, O’Neal’s co-host, echoed the sentiment. Both men experienced the benefits of being well conditioned and the hindrance of not being in basketball shape. Their critique of Zion was rooted entirely in the desire to see him fulfill his potential. There was no discussion if Zion was “a solid human being” or “a good man.” The conversation hinged on the simple acknowledgement that professional athletes benefit from physical conditioning.
An athlete’s performance is also maximized when their emotions and psyche are balanced. Shaq admitted to being “mean” on the court. That meanness, however, never led to two extended suspensions (which Draymond faced this season), an altercation with a teammate which contributed to a season of discontent (last season), and a suspension that may well have cost his team an NBA championship (2016). This is about something other than good or bad, which is why Shaq’s assessment of therapy and counseling needs upgrading.
Of Health and Maladaptivity
Let’s say that Draymond is, as Shaq contends, a good man. But is his behavior healthy? Moreover, is it maladaptive? The concept of maladaptivity is utilized as PART of the criteria to diagnose psychological disorders. I am not in a position to diagnose anyone, but the concept of maladaptivity can be useful when looking at behaviors. A straight forward definition of maladaptivity is engaging in behavior that impairs an individual’s ability to function adequately in everyday life. The behavior may cause misery and distress. Draymond’s behavior hurts his team because it deprives them of his talent. It hurts his wallet. It can harm people (other players) in their workplace. It can cause his teammates and coaches distress as they have to answer questions about his behavior. It can cause them to question his dependability. Golden State Warriors team captain Steph Curry had his leadership abilities questioned because of Draymond’s actions. The question, Shaq, isn’t if Draymond is a good man. The questions need to be, are his actions helpful or harmful to his team? Himself? His family? Is he reaching his full
potential? If not, what can be done to facilitate this process? Healthy players are better players. This extends to their physical, emotional, and psychological worlds. Removing roadblocks to productivity and effectiveness seems obvious. The game is hard enough to win with the other team and coaches trying to stop you. No need to help them by being a your own enemy!
You’re Not Alone
Draymond, you’re not alone. I’m sure you already know that. I am also sure that you don’t need to, nor will you ever, hear it from me. No, I’m writing this for any reader who may be struggling with mental health and feels the crushing isolation that sometimes accompanies that struggle. You’re not alone. Millions of people face this struggle…including this writer. Allow me to finish this post with a quick story.
In my early 30’s, about twenty years ago, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). This was quickly followed up with a comorbidity of depression. While difficult to face it also made some of my biographies make sense. I could look back into my 20’s and late teens and see episodes of depression and high anxiety. Sadly I could see evidence of maladaptivity and defensive coping. The shame ascribed to psychological disorders is real…but you’re not alone.
I tried medication in my early 30’s but could not find anything that truly helped. I utilized some active coping techniques and basically did my best. It wasn’t pretty. I fought the fight the best I could. The healing journey can be quite ugly…but you’re not alone.
In my early 40’s I took a medication that balanced me out. In so doing energy I used to fight the good fight was now free to truly make habits of active coping techniques. Active coping techniques are not dramatic, just helpful items in a tool box. For me this include meditation, walks, time with family, writing, deepening my spiritual conceptions, and the creation of a mid-life friend group that I routinely feel blessed to have found. You know who you are!
I stopped taking mediation after six months and was able to maintain my equilibrium for almost a decade. Never let anyone proclaim that dark days don’t end as if they have a monopoly on the truth. The sun shines through as the clouds part. Unfortunately when it comes to psychological disorders they stay with you, even when you seem to have a grip on them. Sometimes we take backward steps…but you’re not alone in that either.
About a year ago I noticed my anxiety and depressive tendencies were resurgent. I hunkered down and used my tools to hold them at bay. My pride in being able to fight effectively was blinding hubris that, thankfully, I recognized in late August.
A colleague paid me a compliment on our first day of professional development. I tried to thank her but felt confused. Why would she say that about me? I retreated to my classroom and confronted a mountain of anger. First I was angry with her for being so stupid (she is…categorically…not stupid) that she would complement me! Then I turned my rage inward. What kind of an idiot am I to think she was a smart person?! (Again, she is, indeed, a very smart person). How foolish am I?! My anger subsiding I just started crying. I don’t even know why. I just cried. Then I realized I had a meeting to get to so I cleaned up and headed out, secure in the knowledge I happened to have a doctor’s appointment that afternoon and I should bring this episode up.
When I was in the examination room for my physical a nurse entered to take my vitals. Typical stuff, blood pressure (which was solid!) and a weight check (oh boy). When she started asking questions that were part of the psychological panel my gut reaction was to lie. Just lie, lie, lie! I had to, quite conscientiously, make myself tell the truth. I look back on that moment and laugh. I know, from personal experience, the benefits of antidepressants. I have taught psychology for some fifteen years and embrace the value of therapy and meds to assist a person on their journey. Yet, I still paused to confess I needed help. Thankfully I was honest and the antidepressents have been quite helpful! If you have ever felt the desire to deny your disorder or suspected that, somehow, your thoughts can’t be trusted because of a disorder…you’re not alone. Believe me, you are definitely not alone!
The Journey Continues
Mental health, particularly when one struggles with a disorder, has no final victory. There is no final “cure.” We learn to manage the disorder rather than let the disorder manage us. We develop active coping techniques and strive to make them everyday habits that bolster our resilience. We become skilled at navigating the white waters of distress and symptoms and enjoy the placid waters that wait just upriver. Above all else, we fight the good fight with all our might! Be well, dear reader. Take care of yourself and others.
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